Porch pirates are bad enough, but now we have to worry about porch bears!
Kristin Levine, of Bristol, Connecticut, saw her Amazon package leave her front porch in the mouth of a bear. What can you even do at that point? Do you go outside and yell at the bear, "HEY, GIVE ME MY STUFF BACK!" Because the bear's going to look at you and either mosey on his way or give you a bear-beatdown.
Whatever was in the box, let it go. It's not worth it.